3 GOOD Reasons To Stop Trying to Look Like Someone Else

Do you like the way you look? I like the way I look. Most days, I LOVE it.

 

It's a big deal for me to say those words to you and actually BELIEVE them. It's NOT a mantra or affirmation I tell myself every day.

 

It's the truth as I see it. 

 

I'm able to speak those words even though I'm not at my lowest weight or body fat percentage.

 

It hasn't always been that way, though. Just a few years ago, the thought of actually liking my physical body seemed impossible.

 

For most of my life, I worked hard to look like someone else. 

 

It all started when I was 12 or 13, I wanted to look like Alyssa Milano. Every time I watched "Who's The Boss?" I had dreams of being a petite, thin girl with olive skin and silky straight brown hair that moved every time I moved. 

 

But I was a short, chunky little black girl with tightly coiled locks, so the Alyssa Milano look wasn't in the cards for me.

 

I wanted to BE her, because being me was unacceptable.

 

From that point on, I searched high and low for so-called inspiration and motivation in the pages of magazines and websites. Always hoping to claim someone else's face, hair and body, while ignoring my own.

 

I compared myself to the women on the pages of SHAPE, Cosmo, and Women's Health, hoping to attain the unattainable standard.

 

Now, I realize how disrespectful I was...to ME. 

 

The messages we receive from the world around us tell us there's only ONE way to be beautiful...and if you buy this diet/skin cream/make up/hair product, you too can experience the joy and happiness of looking like someone other than yourself. 

 

Of course, I'm not alone in this. We all do it. It's a huge part of our culture to aspire to look like {insert hottest female celebrity}. 

 

But there are 3 GOOD reasons why trying to look like Beyonce or Jennifer Aniston or even the woman in your BodyPump class is a big waste of your time: 

 

1. You weren't meant to look exactly like everyone else. Our bodies are different. The overall structure and function are the same but the shape, size, and weight vary from person to person. Your hair may be a different texture than mine; and my skin is a different hue. That's how biology works.

It's called diversity and we need to respect it.

 

 

2. You'll never achieve it. This is based on reason #1. But let me tell you, if you continue to focus on trying to look like someone else, you are signing up for a life sentence of self-loathing, negative body image and constant weight loss struggles.

Accepting your own uniqueness is the key to unlock that prison door. 

 

3. Your life will pass you by...quickly. When you spend a shit ton of time dieting, exercising, and cool-sculpting your thighs, you don't have time to fully live your life. Now that I've given up shrinking and morphing my body to fit into someone else's idea of ideal, I can focus my energy on more important things, like traveling and building my business.

 

I've accepted that I'll never have hips like Beyonce or an ass like JLo. I know my arms will never be pencil thin, my collarbone won't stick out, and I won't have a 24-inch waist.

 

And I'm ok with ALL of that. 

 

It's easy to lose yourself when you're on a quest to live up to the standard set by someone else.

 

Denying your own shape, size, skin color and hair texture is like denying your own existence. And that doesn't feel good, does it?

 

NOW is the time to respect and appreciate what's unique about you and use it to set your own standard of beauty.

 

BUT HOW?????

I wish I could give you a quick 3-step process that would help you respect your uniqueness, but it's not that easy.

 

The truth is: it takes time and hard work. You can't reverse decades of brainwashing overnight. 

 

My coaching philosophy is to help women like you discover what's good about you. It's NOT to help you configure your life and design your body so that it looks exactly like mine or the fitness models in the magazines. 

 

That's NOT real...and it's kinda boring. I know you want something more for your life, don't you?

 

You CAN do it.

 

If you need help, let's talk