How do you want to feel? Such a simple question, but a powerful one. A few months ago, my superstar life and business coach, Karen Fagan, asked me this question and I wasn't sure how to answer. Hmmm, it was something I'd never even thought about before. Shortly after my conversation with Karen, I discovered Danielle LaPorte, a self-help business guru who skillfully weaves spirituality with business and marketing. I was blown away when Danielle said: "Knowing how you actually want to FEEL is the most potent form of clarity you can have."

Holy crap! She's right. The reason we do the things we do is the desire to feel a certain way.

Ever since I had this incredible revelation, I ask myself this question almost everyday to guide my actions...especially on those stressful days when the only thing I want to feel is a full belly from a plate of hot, salty French fries and a big piece of chocolate cake. In addition to asking myself “How do I want to feel?”, I take it one step further with:

“What am I gonna do to make it happen?”

So, after much introspection and brainstorming, I decided that I want to feel: freedom, energy, pleasure, and alive-ness. I know it's not always possible to feel each of these things every single day, all day long...sometimes life gets in the way and some not-so-good feelings can surface instead. However, I have committed to at least ask myself the question.

Knowing how I want to feel was easier than knowing what to do to get those feelings…that definitely takes some thought:

Energy: I will limit the consumption of coma-inducing sugar bombs like cookies and chocolate-covered pretzels around 3pm every day, instead, I'll get my sugar fix from a nice juicy, sweet piece of fruit. I'll also get at least 7 hours of quality sleep so I'm not dragging the next day.

Pleasure: I will create delicious, kick-ass healthy recipes for me and my family and friends. Regular self-care, such as unplugging from technology, massages and bubble baths, is a must.

Aliveness: the heart-pumping feeling of an intense interval workout or the power that comes from lifting a heavier weight today than I did yesterday or the invigorating feeling of breathing deeply in a weekly yoga class

Freedom: I will allow myself the freedom to live my life in full and not in the limited world of being 'on a diet' or 'off a diet'. I will create my own rules for what, when, and how to eat.

Ultimately, I want to feel free to do whatever brings me the energy, pleasure, and aliveness that I want in my life every single day.

I invite you to ask yourself the question the next time you reach for that cookie or cupcake even though you’re not hungry. Is it love, comfort, fulfillment that you really want?

Or, how about when you set a goal to lose 20 pounds? You don’t want to get to a certain weight because you like the way that number looks on the scale. There's a certain feeling associated with seeing that number, and that's what you're looking for (healthy, sexy, comfortable in your own body). Ask yourself, how else can you generate that feeling?

Think about the way you want to feel, not the way you don't want to feel (ex: instead of "I don't want to feel stuck", say "I want to feel like I'm taking steps forward"). What you focus on, expands…and you definitely want to be expanding the good stuff. Be bold, and be true to yourself.
Brainstorm by writing down all the words that come to your mind, then decide on 4 or 5 based on how they capture the essence of your desired feeling.
Then, write down the things you can do TODAY to start feeling the way you want to feel. Why wait until tomorrow? The sooner you start to feel good, the better life becomes.

[signature]Melissa[/signature]

“Life is full of opportunities to feel exactly the way you want to feel.” –Danielle LaPorte, The Fire Starter Sessions

"Knowing how you actually want to FEEL is the most potent form of clarity you can have."