I wanted to share this message I received a few weeks ago from someone who just needed to express her frustration with losing weight:
"I have worked out for 1.5 yrs for 4 days of 1 hr or more and have not lost anything!! I am so frustrated that I don't know what to do? At times my attitude is that I'll keep working out in spite of how I look and other times I feel like giving up. It seems that everyone else I know can lose weight but me. When I go back home to visit my family and they see that I'm still fat, I feel like a failure...especially when they know how much I work out. I have answers in life for everything else but this...my eating. I don't know what to do."
She's not the only one who feels this way. I hear this all the time, so I know there's at least one sentence in her message that sounds familiar to you, right?
As we wind down the year and get ready for 2014, I think it's important for all of us to get crystal clear on ONE BIG THING:
If you want to lose weight permanently and live your best life, DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT THE ANSWER.
Plain and simple. I don't know how else to say it.
I need you to realize this before your email inbox and Facebook/Twitter news feeds are bombarded with diet programs and meal plans that promise a "new you in the new year". It will be so tempting to sign up for a shiny, new diet and hope that, this time, it's going to stick.
Before you pull the trigger on a new weight loss plan, there are a few truth bombs that some of you need to hear:
1. When you "battle" your body and your weight, you always end up on the losing team. ALWAYS. The war on weight is like the war on drugs or the war on terrorism...it will never end.
2. You might be addicted to the struggle and frustration if you keep doing the same thing over again while expecting a different outcome. If so, just accept that YOU are making this choice.
3. Eating less and exercising more is so 1980s. It may work initially, but it can ultimately cause you to plateau or even gain weight.
And here's the big one:
4. The constant quest for weight loss is one of the biggest DISTRACTIONS that women place in their own lives. It distracts you from connecting with yourself and others, enjoying food and pleasure, and getting exactly what you want in your life.
So, how do you stop this madness?
There's no magic pill for losing weight (some of us have found that out the hard way). However, there are some things you can do to start to shift your mindset, which will propel you forward and help you to become at peace with food and with your body:
1. If you plan to start a new diet, meal plan, or weight-loss program in 2014 after being on a million diets before, just stop and ask yourself "Why the hell am I doing this again?". If you don't have a good answer, I suggest you change your plans.
2. You MUST do some soul-searching to find out what you REALLY desire in your life: when you close your eyes and imagine your best self in your ideal life, what does that look like? "Always trying to lose weight and never being satisfied with body" is probably NOT a part of that picture.
3. Stop chasing the numbers (calories, carbs, weight) and start chasing the feelings: How do you want to feel everyday in your life? Write down 5 to 10 feelings you want to have on a regular basis, then write down what you can do to get those feelings.
4. Invest time, money, and energy into taking care of yourself and finding out what works for you. You are your best investment.
Imagine what it would be like if you just let go. Let go of the stress, pressure, shame, and guilt about not being able to eat healthy, exercise, or lose weight like you want to. I'm here to tell you it's possible. I know it's possible because I've done it for myself and I haven't looked back.
The choice is yours. What are you going to do?
Wishing you wellness,