Things I've always wanted to say, but was too afraid to

Is there something holding you back from sharing your voice? If so, what is it?

Is it because you don't want to hurt, offend or make someone else uncomfortable?

Or is it because people won't like you anymore?

I ask you these questions because I've been holding back on saying what I want to say...what I feel like I need to say. 

And I know I'm not alone. 

For the last 2 years or so, I've inconsistently put my message out into the world. The words that fill my head on a daily basis; the pages that are secretly kept on my computer. 

Files like "Things I NEED to say" and "Here's what I REALLY want to say about women and weight loss" have never seen the light of day...until now.

The pain of not being fully expressed is overwhelming at times. I've had mini meltdowns at the thought of never living up to my full potential in life. Honestly, it scares me more than going broke or never finding true love. 

Yeah, it's THAT serious. 

It's an agonizing pain that's not easy to describe. I just know that when it strikes, it hits with a full force.  If I don't say what I long to say and do what I want to do (instead of what I SHOULD do), I'll be living a life that isn't mine. It would be safe...and painfully unfulfilling. 

Not being fully expressed left me feeling frustrated, pissed-off, and just blah most of the time. Deep down, I knew that I was capable of doing much more. But I was afraid to step out consistently.

I didn't want to rock the boat.

I put my need to stay safe and not hurt other people's feelings above my need to fully express myself. 

It was killing me inside. I was cheating myself.

I was also cheating you because you weren't getting the whole me. It was kinda like Melissa-Lite.

So, I've decided to not hold back anymore. There are things that have been brewing inside me for years but I've been to scared to say them. 

I want to make it clear that I'm not fearless. I'm still scared to put this stuff out there, but I'm doing it anyway. 

The fear of going the rest of my life without truly expressing myself has become greater than the fear of people being pissed off at me. 

So, here it is...this is what I've been wanting to say: 

  • The manufactured standards placed on women and girls is a form of injustice that happens in our culture every day. It's a collective issue that we need to solve together.
  • Even though I believe that we should have the freedom to choose to alter ourselves (appearance or behavior), we need to recognize those choices are usually NOT made in a vacuum. They are heavily influenced by a culture that thrives on us being a watered-down versions of ourselves.
  • I despise the way that women and girls are viewed, portrayed, and treated in the world. From the way that we're constantly reminded that we're not enough (or too much) to the blatant misuse and abuse of our bodies.
  • I hate, hate, hate talking about weight loss because I think it's a topic that keeps us (women mostly) distracted from what we truly want in life. 
  • I believe that the manipulative marketing practices used on women (especially BY women) are harmful and need to stop. There's a better way to sell your stuff without preying on our "insecurities". 
  • Women are constantly reminded that we're either not good enough or too much in an effort to keep us buying products and services to make us acceptable. In reality, there's nothing wrong with us. NOTHING.

I believe we have the right to be angry about all of this and to do something about it.

  • We have to question everything we've been told about ourselves so that we can finally get to the truth.
  • Women leaders have the responsibility to help other women see they've been manipulated to buy into the lies about how important our appearance is. 
  • I have the right to take up as much space as anyone else on this planet, so that's what I'm going to do from now on. 
  • I don't have to apologize for being me. 

Let's be real, 

Melissa

"When I am myself, my real self, I am my most revolutionary". -Amandla Steinberg