How do you know when you're comfortably miserable?

Yesterday, one of my friends posted a picture on Facebook of a quote by Marianne Williamson:

When I read this, I immediately thought of conversations that I'd had with 2 women in the last few weeks who said:

"I know I need help to make changes in my life, BUT I've been living like this for years, so why change now?"

and,

"I'm not happy where I am in my life right now, but it's ok if I'm not happy".

These are 2 women who reached out to me to help them.

These are 2 women who decided to NOT accept an offer to help them.

These are 2 women who are living comfortably miserable lives.

How do YOU know when you're comfortably miserable?

• when you constantly complain about things that aren't going well (health, weight, career, relationship), but you CHOOSE to not take action...even when an opportunity to improve your situation is right in front of you
• when you allow distractions to keep you away from living your BEST life
• when you feel (deep down) like you're settling
• when you don't feel really GOOD about yourself

Ultimately, the comfortable part goes away and then you're just left with misery. I don't think anyone really wants to live like this, right?

So, what's the solution?

First, DO NOT beat yourself up about this...we've all experienced this in our lives. Self-love and acceptance are always required when you're going through change.

Second, you MUST take action.

There's something you can do about it...today.

I invite you to schedule a call with me to talk about what you want to change in your life.

Click here to schedule your 30-minute strategy session. 

So, when you're finished reading this, take a few deep breaths (breathe IN, breathe OUT) and ask yourself "Am I living in comfortable misery right now? And, what am I willing to do to get out of it?"

If you know someone else who needs a little push, please SHARE this with them. It could be just what they need today.

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The 30-Day Mind Cleanse

I have a cleanse I want you to try but you won't need a Magic Bullet or a Vitamix for this one. No powders, no greens...you don't even need water. Why??

Because THIS is a cleanse to help you re-program your MIND.  

In the past 6 months of working with new clients and speaking to groups of women, I see just how much time, energy, and money women spend to pursue the perfect body...relentlessly.

It's as if constantly obsessing, discussing, and thinking about our bodies is just part of being a woman.

We focus on losing weight like it's our JOB...with a high six-figure salary, and a 50% bonus.

Guess what? It's not. Then why the hell do we do it?

We do it because we've been BRAINWASHED...big time!

We've been convinced that, if you DON'T have the perfect body, you're somehow unacceptable, not beautiful, not enough.

NOT true!

The good news about this brainwashing situation is that you can re-program yourself. The not-so-good news: you'll have to invest time, energy, and maybe a little money.

You will not be able to reverse decades of brainwashing overnight. This is one of the zillion reasons that quick fixes and fad diets FAIL miserably. Simply changing the way you eat and exercise without changing the underlying thoughts is a recipe for hitting the reset button every Monday morning for the rest of your life. And that would SUCK.

Here's a DIY mind cleanse you can do at home:

#1: Become aware: You know you've been brainwashed if you've EVER associated your weight or dress size with happiness or self-worth. Now that you can acknowledge it, you can do something about it.

#2: Feed your mind with books, audios, and videos that don't associate the way you look with WHO you are. You must do this DAILY so that you can gradually drown out the old way of thinking. Consistency is the key to success with anything. Don't half-ass it.

#3: Re-focus: You know all that energy, time, and money you put into trying to fix yourself every day?? Take it and put it towards something FUN that will actually enhance your life, like taking dance lessons or learning a new language.

#4: Write down 3 things you need to believe about yourself, and read them every day. Here are my 3:

-my weight/size don't determine my value as a person

-I'm freaking AMAZING at any size

-I will spend most of my time and energy on creating my ideal life, not chasing my ideal weight

Here's what I want you to do: for the next 30 days, do this cleanse for 15 minutes a day to help you re-program the thoughts and beliefs that keep you comfortably miserable and holding off on living your best life.

Whatever you decide, just DO something. Taking action today will get you one step closer to living a kick-ass life and many steps away from the frustration, pain, and exhaustion of trying to live up to someone else's standards.

Imagine if all women did this. There would be a NEW standard. It's time to start a MOVEMENT, ladies. I hope you'll come along with me.

It's time to be FREE from body drama

This is something that I've been thinking about A LOT lately, and I need to talk about it today. Lately, I've observed so many hateful comments all over the internet of pictures of women, whether they're fat, thin, fit or somewhere in between. And guess what? Women are the WORST offenders when it comes to this. It makes me so sad that we do this to each other.  It's as if a woman's body exists only to be judged, scrutinized, and evaluated.

This super judgmental behavior is a direct reflection of your own body drama. Admit it...you've probably said some pretty shitty things about another woman's body. I've been guilty of this myself. Every time I would experience an uncomfortable feeling around someone who I thought was too fat or too skinny, it had everything to do with how I hated my own body and NOTHING to do with the other person.

What the heck is "body drama"?? 

I define it as the constant, highly emotional, and sometimes turbulent and obsessive, relationship that we have with our own bodies.

Why in the world do we do this? Well, because in our culture a woman is supposed to look a certain way. If her body doesn't meet the standard that has been drilled into our heads, then it's not acceptable...and by association, SHE isn't acceptable. It's the feeling that many of us have experienced during our chronic pursuit of weight loss: once I get rid of THIS body and trade it in for a hotter, sexier, skinny version, life will be good and I'll finally be worthy.

After a lot of deep thought on this subject. I came to the decision that as a human being...as a woman, we have the right to love, accept, and exhibit our bodies regardless of what they look like. 

The next time you start to judge or criticize another woman's body because it doesn't look the way it's "supposed" to, that's body drama taking over. When you see another woman and start to hate on your own body because it doesn't look as good as hers...body drama again.

Unfortunately, there's no simple cure for body drama because it's so tightly woven into our thoughts, beliefs, and language. A perfect example: Has someone ever given you a compliment of how good your arms look, then YOU say "Thanks, but I can't figure out how to get rid of the fat on my thighs". DRAMA.

Just say "Thank you!" and move on. 

Awareness is the first step to shining a light on body drama. You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

In the American culture, it's very difficult (but not impossible) to cleanse yourself of this form of destructive thinking and behavior. However, through my own experience and my work with dozens of women, I've found that focusing on something greater than the fluffiness of your muffin top can significantly decrease the amount of body drama in your life. 

When you actively pursue your passion and purpose, instead of your "ideal weight", you start to discover the truly amazing human being you are. Over time, the degree of body drama can drop dramatically IF you do the work required to free yourself. 

Here's what I ask of you:

When you view someone as too fat, too skinny, or too manly, just remember that under the layer of fat, muscles, or skin & bones, there's an actual human being...because that's what you'd want someone to think about you, right?

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now. I could go on and on about this but I know you have things to do, so I'll talk to you next week.  

 Here's to no more body drama!

The a-ha moment that brought me to tears

Do you ever think about how great you are? Do you always celebrate all the big (and little) things you've accomplished in life?

 

If you're like me, your answer is "No...not really". It seems like we're bragging or being obnoxious if we ever FULLY recognized our accomplishments, right?

 

In my video today, I talk about the moment I realized how the little voice inside my head was getting in the way of me recognizing my own greatness. It's that little negative voice inside your head that shows up when you are making moves to get to the next level...in any area of your life. It's the voice that says "Whoa! Pump your brakes...where do YOU think you're going? Who do YOU think you are? No one gives a rat's ass about what you're doing."

 

You know the voice I'm talking about. It's the one that tells you that you're not good enough or that you can't possibly have anything valuable to offer to the world. 

 

The bad news: this little voice is part of being human...we ALL have it. But the good news is that you CAN learn to quickly recognize it as B.S. and keep moving forward. It takes awareness, practice, and loving support from the people around you.

 

Negative thoughts and limiting beliefs are two BIG examples of things that get in the way of you getting the results you want. That's why we'll be talking A LOT about this during my Body-Mindset Experience: 3 Keys to Transform Your Body AND Your Life. This one-day workshop will be on Saturday, June 28th in Washington, DC. If you suffer from lack of self-celebration and excessive negative self-talk, you need to be there!

 

Right now, check out the video to see the 'a-ha moment' I had recently. There's definitely a lesson in there for YOU.

 

[youtube]http://youtu.be/j2jnSKsWHaM[/youtube]

 

See you next week!