I've given up. I've decided to be done with the pursuit of perfection. Eating the perfect food and doing the perfect workouts so I can have the perfect body.
In reality, none of that shit even exists, but it took me a lifetime to realize it.
The past 3 years have been a time of extreme personal growth in finding out what I really want and what I bring to the world. I realized that I would NOT be able to unleash my true potential unless and until I accepted and fell in LOVE with my body and myself.
I've already shared my personal food rules with you, now I'm giving you the inside scoop on my body philosophy.
But first, some disclaimers:
1. Body love is NOT easy, but it is possible. You have to be willing to be patient, ask for help when you need it, and let go of a lot of bullshit messages that you've been attached to for most of your life.
2. You're NOT wrong if you feel differently about this topic or if you're not head-over-heels in love with your body yet.
3. I never suffered from body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), which is a pathological obsession with your appearance and body image. If you feel like you can't stop thinking about a flaw (or flaws) to the extent that it adversely impacts your life, I recommend that you seek professional help.
Over time, my body love (or lack thereof) has evolved in a BIG way. In the past I only loved it when it looked fit, or thin, but when it wasn't I could barely face it in the mirror.
If you know what I'm talking about, then keep reading because it's about time for a brilliant woman like you to love your body...unconditionally.
I celebrate & appreciate all the incredible things my body can do. I used to HATE my arms because I thought they were so fat. How can I get mad at arms that can do pullups, burpees, handstand pushups??
My body LOVES food and it wants to stay alive and healthy, so I feed it. A lot.
I exercise as a way to take care of myself, look and FEEL good, and have FUN. Workouts are no longer a way to do damage control for the food I ate the night before. I happily said "adios" to the "I need to burn it off" mentality. Freedom.
My new default response when I look in the mirror is: "Damn, you look good!". This is in stark contrast to "Uh, what a mess", which was usually how I greeted myself in the mirror.
I've accepted that I can't always be ripped with a 6-pack of abs. The truth is, my body doesn't like to be in that place for long because it's smart enough to know that fat is a good thing...and it kinda helps me stay alive.
I no longer get mad when I feel my stomach jiggle...it's a great reminder that I'm able to move, which is a gift. I love my feminine fat.
I have NO IDEA what my body fat percentage, BMI, and weight are. I choose not to keep track of those numbers because I have enough useless information in my head. Seriously.
I no longer put important, pleasurable events on hold until I'm satisfied with my body. There's no more waiting around to take pictures, wear a swimsuit at the beach, or go on a date. I love being seen.
I wear clothes that fit...not too big/ not too small. Back in the day, I was the QUEEN of buying clothes a size too small because of my ongoing plans to lose weight. The only thing that resulted from that was a closet full of clothes that were too small...patiently waiting for me to drop some pounds.
I wear clothes that make me feel the way I want to feel: feminine, beautiful, powerful, comfortable. I never feel the need to hide under frumpy clothes.
As my good friend, Dana Lauro said: "Life is too short to be covered up".
Let it all hang out, ladies! No matter what other people say.
I believe that all bodies are good bodies...skinny, fat, or somewhere in between. In the past, my own unresolved body drama (from decades of brainwashing) prevented me from really understanding this.
I am no longer pre-occupied with trying to make my body smaller. It's fine as it is and always has been...it just took me 25 years to finally realize that.
My body is the house for my spirit...a sacred place. It deserves to be treated that way.
You might be asking:
"How did you get to this place??"
The mental journey is slow. It took years of personal development and getting clear on how I wanted to live my life. I knew I could NOT spend the next 40 or 50 years being unsatisfied with myself.
I have also surrounded myself with tons of supportive, positive people who were busy pursuing their ideal lives instead of their ideal weight.
I also had to stop feeding my mind all the garbage fitness and food rules running rampant on the internet. A mental cleanse was essential.
Finally, I think my work personally coaching other women has helped me get to this point faster. When I saw the pain that other women experience from decades of hating and trying to fix their bodies, I knew that this isn't how things are supposed to be.
My journey is ongoing...I still get a little anxious if I think my love handles are making a comeback. But then I snap out of it and remind myself of the things on this list. Nothing is perfect.
The bottom line: You can't hate yourself thin, and you definitely can't hate yourself happy. It doesn't work that way...never has, never will. That's the most important lesson.