Since my post last week about the relationship between your mindset and physical transformation, I've had so many emails from women who were able to relate to this. Women who are (still) spending countless hours, day, months, and years focused on what's "wrong" with their bodies instead of living their lives. As I told you last week, I spent much of my adolescent and adult life thinking about how fat I was and how skinny I need to be...I searched high and low for the next diet or workout DVD that would unveil the happy skinny me that I so desperately wanted.
The "secret" to lasting weight loss continued to elude me.
Coveting the Clavicle
During my years of searching for the quickest way to get happy skinny, I spent a LOT of time thinking crazy skinny thoughts about myself and my body. A good example of this is something that I just remembered the other day...I would be so focused on my clavicle (aka collarbone) as an indication that I was getting "skinny". I was so obsessed that when I saw someone with a prominent collarbone, I would think to myself "I wish I had a collarbone like hers...I'm so fat!!".
I know I'm not the only one with these crazy skinny thoughts...my friends and clients have shared some of their favorites with me:
"My arms don't look good, so I can't go to happy hour."
"I can't wear this dress because it emphasizes my bra fat"
"No man will want to date/marry me because I'm too fat"
When you read them out loud, they sound ridiculous, right? But stop and take a listen to some of the crazy skinny thoughts floating around in your own head...yep, they probably sound as ridiculous as these.
What else could you be doing with all that time and energy????
A month ago, I sent out a survey asking women how often they think about losing weight each day: 67% said at least 1 to 3 times/day. When I asked what they would focus on if they weren't thinking about losing weight...57% said "finding my passion & purpose in life"...basically, they would be turning their dreams into reality if they weren't thinking crazy skinny thoughts all day. Whoa...
Ask yourself, "If I spent less time focusing on my body, could I be:
"making more money at work or in my business?" "spending more time nurturing my personal relationships?" "enjoying sex more?"
Does this mean that I'm crazy???
I call these things "crazy skinny thoughts", but by no means am I suggesting that YOU, are crazy...it's your thoughts that are a little loco. It's not surprising... we've been bombarded with images and messages that skinny = happy since we were little girls. Hopefully, after reading this and reflecting on your own experience, you now realize that's a BIG FAT LIE.
You CAN change the way you think, but it doesn't happen overnight. You may also have some "relapses" every now and then, but the important thing is to be AWARE.
1. Practice mindfulness: when a thought comes up, acknowledge it as something that does NOT serve you, dismiss it and move on
2. Surround yourself with people with a positive outlook who know how to love themselves. When you see self-love in action, it can be contagious!
3. Get a life! No, really...find other, more rewarding and personally satisfying activities to focus on.
Do you want to change your crazy skinny thoughts? I hope so!
By the way, I still have a few slots open for a free 30-minute strategy session. Maybe we talk about how you can stop chasing "skinny happy"... and just get "healthy happy" instead!!