Is Your Body Drama TOXIC to Your Love Life?

Picture it: A warm fall day in 2006 in Washington, DC. I was on a date with a guy introduced to me by a good friend. I think it was our 4th or 5th date.

He planned for us to spend the day in Georgetown. We drove around in his convertible Audi enjoying the sunshine and warm breeze.  It was perfect.

Then it happened...we were in line at Starbucks on M Street. As I stepped towards the counter to place my order, he touched the small of my a sign of affection or just to help move me forward. Who knows. 

But instead of enjoying the feeling of his hand on my back or ignoring it completely, I had an internal meltdown.

And if you've ever been in a total panic and tried to disguise it, you know it just makes the whole situation 10 times worse.

I don't think the barista, the other customers in line or even my date knew that I was at Level 10 Freakout Mode. Once I'd gone through the panic stage, I rapidly spiraled into anger. Anger at him for **GASP** touching me in a caring, non-threatening way on a date.

For the rest of our time together, it was probably obvious to him that something was off. My whole demeanor shifted in a matter of seconds. I was furious, embarrassed, and on high alert.

The date went downhill from there. I barely spoke and I stayed at least 2 feet away from him, fearful that he may try to grab a hold of my love handles again. I spent the rest of the time planning to not eat and to start a new diet on Monday. I was also mentally mapping out of all the workouts I needed to do to lose weight before our next date.

As I'm writing this, I realize how crazy that sounds.

I'm pretty sure that the last thing on HIS mind was how many back rolls I had.

This is just one of many events in my life where I allowed my negative body image to get in the way of life's goodness. My meltdown was the result of massive fear that, once he discovered I was hiding a little extra back fat under my cream-colored cable knit sweater, he'd be headed for the door.

We dated for about six months after that. Even though my body drama didn't cause the demise of the relationship, it contributed to my not being able to enjoy that warm fall day in Georgetown.

It happened almost 10 years ago and I haven't talked to the guy in 8 years, but I still remember it.

This is just one of the many ways that women like you and me choose to hold ourselves back.

Yes, it's a choice to not allow your significant other to touch your or see your naked body.

The good news is that you can choose something different by kicking your negative body drama out of ALL your relationships: romantic, business, personal, and especially the relationship you have with yourself.

Now that I've done the work and changed my mind-body story, I'm much more confident in social situations, business, and in regular everyday life.You can make the change, but first you have to make the decision.

So, how are YOU letting your negative body image interfere with the goodness in your life?