Motivate the mind…the body will follow

Imagine this: showing up at a party and you're the only person wearing a bikini.  Now, I want you to imagine doing this EVERY month.  Why would anyone agree to do this? Maybe to keep themselves motivated to lose weight...?

WHAT???

Yes! A fabulous client of mine, Erica,  just told me one of the craziest things she's done to motivate herself to stay on a diet so she could lose weight.  She promised her friends that, if she didn't lose at least 4 pounds a month, she would come to a party every month in a bikini.

It worked for a little while, then it started to become exhausting and after 4 months she just couldn't do it anymore. 

The dieting mindset can make you agree to some crazy things…things you'd never thought you would ever do. I'm guilty of it, and you probably are too. When people are trying to lose weight and keep it off, they'll do almost ANYTHING to be successful, including getting your jaws wired shut, turning to an all-liquid diet, and even getting your stomach stapled.

If you have to resort to "motivation" that results in humiliation, exhaustion, or can endanger your health, you are NOT eating healthy…YOU ARE ON A DIET.

So, how do you stay motivated when temptation is everywhere??

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this. Different things motivate different people to maintain a healthy lifestyle for the long-term. External motivators like positive feedback from family/friends, motivational quotes/books/pictures, and a strong support system of like-minded people can be very helpful.

But what happens when those things don't work??

That's when your internal motivation needs to kick in. Here's what I do: I ask myself how I want to feel everyday. Yes, I know I've mentioned this a million times before, but I keep talking about it because it works! The words I've chosen for myself (energy, abundance, pleasure, aliveness, freedom) guide my actions during the day, including my eating. When I come face to face with a tray of chocolate chip cookies, willpower and motivational quotes don't work for me.  Instead, I remind myself that I want to feel energized, and eating 6 or 7 cookies will put me into a sugar coma.  This little mindset shift allows me to pass altogether on the cookies or just have 1 or 2. Because I'm motivated by how I want to feel, I can make an empowered choice, instead of feeling like I'm denying myself something good.

Here's what you can do: take 10-15 minutes to jot down how you'd like to feel, then choose 4 or 5 that best describe how you want to feel. Decide what activities you can do each day to get those feelings.

Why is it so important to know how you want to feel??

When I do this exercise with people, words like "energized", "happy", "joyful", and  "free" always come up.

But, when you start a diet or some type of weight loss plan, these are NOT the feelings you get.  Instead you start to feel: deprived, hungry, confused, irritable, exhausted.   No one sets out to feel that way, but that’s usually what happens. 

Like any new behavior, refining your internal motivation will take practice.  YOU MUST DO IT EVERY DAY. 

The ultimate goal is to behave differently without having to think about it.  You will get there.

You just have to DECIDE that you want it and TRUST that it is possible. Ask for help if you need it.

What's the craziest thing you've ever done to motivate yourself to lose weight?  If you can top Erica's story, I'd love to hear it.  Just leave your story in the comments section below.

Here's to losing weight with sanity in 2014!!

Melissa

4 Tips for Becoming a Lifelong Loser

I hope your new year is off to a good start! We're 7 days into 2014, and you're probably kicking off their new health and fitness goals this week. 

 

Before you get too far along, here are a few tips that will make 2014 the year that you lose weight and KEEP IT OFF! 

 

1. Change your mind and your body will follow. To create a lasting physical transformation, you MUST begin with a shift in your mindset. Living a healthy lifestyle is NOT about deprivation, misery, and relying on willpower to get you through the day. If you're tired of "starting over", take time to do some soul-searching and find out what living a healthy life really means to you. Dig deep and ask: what do I REALLY desire for myself? You might be surprised by what you uncover. Your mindset determines your actions. Your actions determine your results.

 

2. Become a  visionary. Instead of being completely focused on calories, points, and carbs, create a vision of your BEST SELF.  Close your eyes and imagine the healthy, happy version of YOU. Step into the vision and start doing the things the healthy, happy you would do.  

 

3. Be balanced.  It's so tempting to cut all the 'good' food out of your diet, and carbs are you usually the first to go.  If this isn't your first time at the weight-loss rodeo, you know that it's almost impossible to maintain low carbs.  Severe carb-cutting leads to severe carb cravings. So, instead of taking your total carbs down to almost zero, start to eliminate processed foods with tons of excess sugar...those are the carbs to avoid. Fruit, whole grains, beans, and sweet potatoes are all part of a healthy, balanced diet.

 

4. Chase a feeling, not a number. You want to lose 20 pounds or go down a couple of dress sizes? Well, chances are, there's a feeling that you want to experience when you get to that goal. How do you want to feel everyday? Take 10-15 minutes to brainstorm some feelings then decide on your top 4 or 5. Write down what you will do each day to create those feelings. You can't find true happiness in a number on the scale, but you can make yourself FEEL good.

Stay tuned to my emails and videos every Tuesday morning because I've got some good stuff coming for you this year.  I want this to be YOUR year to get exactly want you want for yourself.  Let's do this together!

 

 

Here's to a healthy & happy 2014!

 

Mind shift = Body Transformation

I wanted to share this message I received a few weeks ago from someone who just needed to express her frustration with losing weight:

"I have worked out for 1.5 yrs for 4 days of 1 hr or more and have not lost anything!! I am so frustrated that I don't know what to do? At times my attitude is that I'll keep working out in spite of how I look and other times I feel like giving up. It seems that everyone else I know can lose weight but me.  When I go back home to visit my family and they see that I'm still fat, I feel like a failure...especially when they know how much I work out.  I have answers in life for everything else but this...my eating. I don't know what to do."

She's not the only one who feels this way.  I hear this all the time, so I know there's at least one sentence in her message that sounds familiar to you, right?

As we wind down the year and get ready for 2014, I think it's important for all of us to get crystal clear on ONE BIG THING:  

If you want to lose weight permanently and live your best life, DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT THE ANSWER.  

Plain and simple.  I don't know how else to say it.

I need you to realize this before your email inbox and Facebook/Twitter news feeds are bombarded with diet programs and meal plans that promise a "new you in the new year".  It will be so tempting to sign up for a shiny, new diet and hope that, this time, it's going to stick.

Before you pull the trigger on a new weight loss plan, there are a few truth bombs that some of you need to hear: 

1.  When you "battle" your body and your weight, you always end up on the losing team.  ALWAYS. The war on weight is like the war on drugs or the war on terrorism...it will never end.

2.  You might be addicted to the struggle and frustration if you keep doing the same thing over again while expecting a different outcome.  If so, just accept that YOU are making this choice.

3. Eating less and exercising more is so 1980s.  It may work initially, but it can ultimately cause you to plateau or even gain weight.

And here's the big one:

4. The constant quest for weight loss is one of the biggest DISTRACTIONS that women place in their own lives.  It distracts you from connecting with yourself and others, enjoying food and pleasure, and getting exactly what you want in your life. 

So, how do you stop this madness?  

There's no magic pill for losing weight (some of us have found that out the hard way). However, there are some things you can do to start to shift your mindset, which will propel you forward and help you to become at peace with food and with your body:

1. If you plan to start a new diet, meal plan, or weight-loss program in 2014 after being on a million diets before, just stop and ask yourself "Why the hell am I doing this again?".  If you don't have a good answer, I suggest you change your plans.

2. You MUST do some soul-searching to find out what you REALLY desire in your life: when you close your eyes and imagine your best self in your ideal life, what does that look like? "Always trying to lose weight and never being satisfied with body" is probably NOT a part of that picture.

3. Stop chasing the numbers (calories, carbs, weight) and start chasing the feelings: How do you want to feel everyday in your life? Write down 5 to 10 feelings you want to have on a regular basis, then write down what you can do to get those feelings. 

Check out this post for inspiration.

4. Invest time, money, and energy into taking care of yourself and finding out what works for you.  You are your best investment.

Imagine what it would be like if you just let go.  Let go of the stress, pressure, shame, and guilt about not being able to eat healthy, exercise, or lose weight like you want to.  I'm here to tell you it's possible.  I know it's possible because I've done it for myself and I haven't looked back.

The choice is yours.  What are you going to do?

Wishing you wellness, 

Living in a weight-loss state of mind

Last week, I talked about 5 common reasons that hold people back from making a positive change in their lives.  Since then, several people have asked me: "I want to be ready to lose weight/get healthy, but how can I do it without going on another diet??"

Ahhhh yes... this is what I like to call "weight-loss brain".  It's a state of mind that comes from years of dieting and makes you believe that being on a diet is the ONLY way to be healthy or lose weight.

It’s no secret that I hate diets. I hate them because they don’t work, I hate what they do to your body, and most of all I hate what they do to your mind. The cycle of  dieting not only keeps your body fluctuating between a size 2 and a size 10, it also keeps your mind fluctuating between sanity and paranoia...freaking out about every little change on the scale.

Did you know that when you decide to go on a diet, you’re not just committing to eating a certain way for a finite period of time...you’re actually signing up for a bunch of other things? Yep, take a look:

When you go on a diet, you might be saying “yes” to:

• being dissatisfied with your body during various times for the rest of life
• being in fear of and obsessed with certain foods
• constantly comparing yourself to others (a.k.a "body envy")
• compulsively counting calories, points, or carbs
• measuring your value by a number on the scale or a dress size
• evaluating how "good" or "bad" you are based on the food you eat
• being distracted by the constant pursuit of weight loss, and letting life zoom right past you

And by saying “yes” to all these things, you could be saying “no” to:

• knowing what it feels like to find pleasure in eating healthy foods
• living in the moment and accepting where you are RIGHT NOW
• finding your true purpose and passion... and pursuing it
• fully engaging in relationships with friends and family
• experiencing the fullness of life

This is just a little something to think about the next time you embark on YOUR next diet.  I was able to recover from "weight loss brain" when I finally realized:

It's not JUST about food and exercise...it's about your WHOLE life.

What do you think of "weight loss brain"?  Share your own personal experience in the comments section below!